oh wow... that was easy?

So yesterday, I felt like a bigger failure than Bridget Jones...
And today... I am a little more Andrea Sachs.

I guess it really is "darkest before the dawn" or some other equally appalling analogy.
Literally, I mean last night I was pretty upset about my current situation (save for a couple of bright spots-- you know who you are and I am pretty sure I owe you my life in exchange for you unwavering support) and attempted to cure it with brownies and the Hills (p.s. wtf Speidi?! not to mention of girls like that, can get those kinds of jobs... why couldn't I get something. p.p.s. never use The Hills as a gauge for progress in your own life, it's dangerous.)

And this morning, I wake up to a "we would like to hire you" phone call. So, yea, things have turned upward most dramatically.
Just in time for me to blow my money on Christmas.
Which, honestly I can't wait to do. I mean... I have some people who really deserve something fairly amazing in the form of gifts.
But I am getting ahead of myself, Black Friday is still a couple of weeks away.

"What else can I say, I guess I am doing o.k"

Umm... What just happend?

My life just fell into my lap.

I somehow managed to land a job doing what I love to do.....
Does this actually happen to people? Do you really ACTUALLY get to do what you want, and get paid for it? It seems a bit... too good to be true. I mean MAYBE I am just over thinking it a little bit... yea. I am.

So yea...

I got what I wanted...



and am now waiting to eaten alive by Alsatians.

Get a life. You have untill March.

I think that its time I fill up a dart board with goals and start chucking darts (seeing is how I have no knack for them) and see where they land. Job, Home... simple categories like that. And perhaps whatever I collect the most of is the one I should pursue.
Since my "logical" attempt has only landed me interview after interview only to have a second interview but no job follow through.

I feel angry and sad, for the most part... and mostly for myself, which I am sure makes me a very very selfish girl. I mean, looking back; I like to think I did everything right. I got good grades in high school, went on to college (didn't party too much, studied hard, and worked harder). I loped up every mountain that parents, teachers, mentors and counselors put before me. And now, after my extended soul-searching-sabbatical I am still near the top and I am lacking all the things I am expected to have in hand or by my side.
I have no great job or budding career. I have no beginning brood of children or husband (my friends, or former friends are on that track as well).
I guess I shouldn't compare myself to them... we are not the same people. But didn't we all go through the same motions, graduate, college, graduate and start your life?
I can re-evaluate my situation. I mean, I don't wish to be married as of yet, NOR do I wish to even think about starting a family. So, strike that off the list of things driving me crazy.
Career wise, most seem happy... or at least content enough to stick through it till the next promotion or op comes along.
But instead of near the top of the mountain like I pretend to be, am I actually in the ditch somewhere off the beaten path?

I haven't a clue.
I just daily throw myself into the arduous task of finding a job to start my career with.
Daily.
What better training for further down the road then the copious amounts of rejection I face on a weekly basis? Surely, my skin shall thicken up and eventually the sound of "we have found someone else" will just sound like elevator muzak.


Or... someone will hire me.