resolution revolution

I decided to block most of 2009 out.
To me, it left a lot to be desired.
I mean sure, I set goals, I made resolutions… and well… I don’t even remember if I completed any of them.
I mean, for all intensive purposes I spent a painful amount of 09 in a disastrous relationship, spent time getting over it… then moved on with life like you are supposed to. I found a new relationship that is better and was luck enough to move on to a job that was better.

And I am looking forward to 2010.
I don’t know what is laid out before me. I don’t even know what to expect.
But I am open….

just a (shared) thought

Sometimes, when you press your forehead to mine and close your arms around me; I think you are trying to tell me something. Something, you can't quite say aloud... Either that or, you're trying to steal my own thoughts away from me. Or maybe, you're trying to read my own.

new gold standard

i have been measuring wrong all along.
what i told was gold, was clearly, well... not.
it was rather, pyrite (fool's gold)... it looks the same, shines the same, HOWEVER is not gold.
nothing gold about it, other the the namesake color.

upon learning this, i realized my entire system has to be re-calibrated to account for all the prior miscalculations.
whats a girl to do?

i mean, for years... things were all based on a certain series of semi-developed ideals. and now, they no longer seem to apply... but rather, a new... seemingly better system is being developed.

gold standard 2.0

FYI

everything i once had has been replaced by something else.
each little void, nook, cranny... subsequently filled with something new, better.

because everything shattered and pulled apart at the seams-- stretched beyond recognition. every sinew-y piece of fibrous matter frayed... unrepairable.

every nucleus of this, each clouded in its own hubris and falsity. self-created. self-perpetuated. only to bring about a demise of Homer proportions.


I don't want this.
I don't need this.
I will survive this.

heavy heavy low low

the words hang heavy in the air, like low slung clouds across the horizon before the storm. 

the theme music rolls in....

i see myself, examining the pieces under the microscope trying to match the fiber filiments a la csi. 

i cannot find the second shooter nor the owner of the size 5 womans shoe.

i look out the window as if the answer should be staring me in the face... only to find fog.

the fog surrounds the words with ethereal phospheressence; leaving me still just as lost as before.