I'll Take On WoW

This is my response to this piece by Tyler Curry on McSweeneys.

*please note, this is just a creative piece, it have nothing to do with anything*

So, thanks a lot, Chris. I really wanted to read about your take on our World of Warcraft stand off on your guild forum. But then again, that is what happens when I let you use MY computer, you left the window open. Just so you know, I wasn’t trying to get the keyboard through the monitor; you just happened to duck before it hit your head. Then you headed to the corner to cower. Seriously for being a brave “druid-master-magic-whatever” I thought you would have put up a little more resistance.

And you are still very much addicted to World of Warcraft. Don’t deny it. I mean you spend hours a day on this silly game. Yes, Chris, it is a game. A GAME. I would recommend a 12-step program for you—but I think it would only result in the sharing of “codes” or “spells.”

I would have let the library slide, but Chris, this is the third time you’ve done it. And yes, you should have know the library closed at 8, but apparently if it doesn’t come from the mouth of an elf-gnome-fairy-dragon it doesn’t matter and its not worth remembering. Oh you can remember where you got every piece of armor and how much you paid for it but nooooo you cant for the life of you (or your character) remember what time I asked you to pick me up. The crime rate in that neighborhood doesn’t really matter, I admit I exaggerated that part, it’s not safe to leave a girl alone in the dark for that long.

I don’t care that I was forgotten for a whole drove of gnomes or their stupid village. I don’t care that you were healing them for the “greater good.” I am your fiancée. We share a home. A bed. And if you would like to continue this arrangement you might want to consider who you need to saving. And seriously, if you quote Spock one more time…

I will remember this Chris, the freezing rain and being left behind for gnomes. I might magically forget to pay the cable bill and then where will you be? Internet-less Chris, that’s where.

You and you guild forum… Claim you don’t know the powers of Photoshop all you want. That’s fine, play dumb. I can’t believe that you posted those pictures! Never mind all the other totally normal and sober pictures we have TOGETHER, but no you pick the one from the party the girls threw me after we announced our engagement. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Don’t even get me started on you getting me fired, again. Seriously, how do I explain my fiancées abuse of World of Warcraft is what got me fired from my last two jobs?

Chris, I honestly don’t care about your World of Warcraft needs—any more than you care about mine of needing to be picked up out of the freezing rain, or from the airport.

I don’t know if you know this, but the real world does not care how many pieces of flair your character got from the bald eagle. Does your therapist know about your little “habit” or have you neglected to mention that at all? I am sure its totally normal for a man your age to be diligently clicking away instead of looking over your expense reports. And thanks for blabbing about my mom to the entire World of Warcraft world. There sympathy is non existent, unless it revolves around some fallen comrade.

As for the “blood elf” hooker I caught you with… it is sick. It is perverted. And that you called me by HER name is no coincidence. I think we might have to establish for “role-playing” rules. What do I have to do Chris, do I have make my own sexy-druid-elf character for you? Will that make you happy? Oh, it would… too bad Chris, I can’t do it. I can’t devote that much time to something that IS NOT REAL.

Warchief Thrall doesn’t have to wake up to your morning breath. Warchief Thrall doesn’t have to worry about your watermelon allergy. Warchief doesn’t have to deal with your mother. I don’t care that 8 months ago you made some silly allegiance online. YOU put the ring on my finger, aren’t I the one you need to be supporting… especially since YOU got me fired, again.

I hope you enjoyed this last “quest” because, sweetie, by the time you read this… I will have paid someone within your guild, with your gold to kill your character.

Thinking...

My sleep sched is a wreck!
I mean, it's my own fault for not doing important things like going to bed at a decent time. But so what, you only live once (that we know of) and you can sleep when you're dead, right? Right. So yea, going to bed before 1am is overrated, and frankly, I feel, unproductive.
I am sure this would change if my time was not divided up between doing nothing and working on my freelance writing projects.
And, this weekends zombie movie extravaganza probably did not help any. But hey, how often do you get to dress like a goth kid and then mega-morph into a zombie (ok for me, just this once). It was a blast! So fun. I was only an extra, but then had the privilege of being in charge of doing zombie make-up and costume fixes.
I was very much a Jane of all trades on the set.
I hope I get the make up credit... if not, oh well...
I will MOST definitely post a link if not the whole thing via youtube here.

Moving on....
actually no, there isn't much to move on to... just me being me.

I write, I photograph... and that's really all there is.

Umm... What just happend?

My life just fell into my lap.

I somehow managed to land a job doing what I love to do.....
Does this actually happen to people? Do you really ACTUALLY get to do what you want, and get paid for it? It seems a bit... too good to be true. I mean MAYBE I am just over thinking it a little bit... yea. I am.

So yea...

I got what I wanted...



and am now waiting to eaten alive by Alsatians.

Get a life. You have untill March.

I think that its time I fill up a dart board with goals and start chucking darts (seeing is how I have no knack for them) and see where they land. Job, Home... simple categories like that. And perhaps whatever I collect the most of is the one I should pursue.
Since my "logical" attempt has only landed me interview after interview only to have a second interview but no job follow through.

I feel angry and sad, for the most part... and mostly for myself, which I am sure makes me a very very selfish girl. I mean, looking back; I like to think I did everything right. I got good grades in high school, went on to college (didn't party too much, studied hard, and worked harder). I loped up every mountain that parents, teachers, mentors and counselors put before me. And now, after my extended soul-searching-sabbatical I am still near the top and I am lacking all the things I am expected to have in hand or by my side.
I have no great job or budding career. I have no beginning brood of children or husband (my friends, or former friends are on that track as well).
I guess I shouldn't compare myself to them... we are not the same people. But didn't we all go through the same motions, graduate, college, graduate and start your life?
I can re-evaluate my situation. I mean, I don't wish to be married as of yet, NOR do I wish to even think about starting a family. So, strike that off the list of things driving me crazy.
Career wise, most seem happy... or at least content enough to stick through it till the next promotion or op comes along.
But instead of near the top of the mountain like I pretend to be, am I actually in the ditch somewhere off the beaten path?

I haven't a clue.
I just daily throw myself into the arduous task of finding a job to start my career with.
Daily.
What better training for further down the road then the copious amounts of rejection I face on a weekly basis? Surely, my skin shall thicken up and eventually the sound of "we have found someone else" will just sound like elevator muzak.


Or... someone will hire me.

Together yet....

He plays WoW... You read Oates....

You Bore Me More Than Star Warz

I don't really know how else to say this... you bored me.
And you managed to do it in such a way that it came across as safe, instead of insanely dull. I guess, I am the only one I can fault for this act. I let myself be coerced by you into thinking YOU somehow were the one I "needed" instead of myself or my friends or my family.
Shame on you.

And from that point on, in the words of New Found Glory, its all down hill from here. I mean from that point on I was constantly convincing myself that "need you". And well, frankly, I didn't and seriously don't.
I need me. I need to be me. And by letting you forcefully make me ignore all the screaming alarms in my head... I was not being me. And that is one of the cardinal sins of the Church of Stacy (always be thy self).

There were other things too... I don't want to get into those, because the way YOU got in the way of me being ME, i could fill novels with.

See, I think YOU thought you were doing a good thing. "Being there for me," but, really, I didn't ask you to be there for me. I didn't have to. You did that to yourself by an all-day-every-day barrage of calls and text messages. No one needs that much communication with anyone.
Now, you say you don't do this. I have enough info saved on my phone to prove that wrong. I was to the point where I could not look at my phone and not want to pray a semi ran it over after I tossed it against the wall.
Sure, communication is key in ANY relationship. But the constant checking up (oh yes, I said it) and wanting to know EVERYTHING from so far away... is insanity. It drove me to the point where the only way I thought I could effectively communicate with you was with a steady string of expletives and yelling like a lunatic. And that simply is not me. That has never been me. And the fact that YOU drove me to that... says a whole lot about you.

I am sure as you read this you wonder, why didn't she tell me. I did tell you. I asked politely. I told you nicely. Ultimately, you chose to ignore and completely disrespect the simple yet finite boundries I gave you. "Please do not call or text me." It is that simple. Do Not, simply means don't-fucking-do-it.
Oh sure, I was out of line, maybe, with the one ended ultimatum of "If you do not respect this we are done." But, seeing is how you ignored that and continued to message me and make attempts to talk to me I was clearly right. You needed such a boundary to really test you ability to follow simple English instructions, I think my dog could understand that command "No more barking"... kinda the same thing.

At the end of it all, with you torturing yourself with the string of questions about my life... did you find that helpful? Do you sleep better at night? Or do you lie awake dreaming of the day you can weasel your way back into my vicinity? Hoping you can charm your way back to me? Because you certainly can't afford to buy it back, and personality only gets you so far in some instances.

So, in case it is STILL unclear for you: in order for me to be me, I have to be completely without you.